Attitude

(The following is an article written by Robert Smith, taken from the January edition of the newsletter "Tears to Hope", published by The Amelia Center, Birmingham, AL)

"I recently watched my five year old son play in the floor as he attempted to build “the worlds tallest block tower.” He would lay layer on layer of wood blocks on top of each other in an attempt to build a tower that was as tall as he was. With each attempt, he would build a tower almost chin high, only to have it waver precariously, and tumble down. No matter how carefully he stacked the topmost blocks, the results were always the same. As he became increasingly frustrated with his results, he asked me for help. The first thing I had him correct was not how he put on the top blocks, but how he arranged his foundation. We built a wide, solid base for our tower and then built higher and higher. 


What my son learned is it does not matter what you do at the top if you have not put in enough work at the bottom. I see this lesson in many people who are trying to heal from the death of a loved one. They spend so much time and energy working on the big picture; they fail to notice the foundation. In the case of grief, the foundation is attitude. In his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl describes attitude as the only thing man has that can not be taken away and the only thing we have complete choice over. Frankl says “Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” Too often I talk with people who feel as if their attitude does not matter. They plow through life hoping to get better, but fail to work on their foundation. Our attitude defines who we are and acts like a giant magnet. If our attitude is negative, you can bet others with negative attitudes will be hopelessly attracted to us. In this case, two negatives do NOT make a positive. By contrast, a good attitude can and will bring positive people into our lives.


No matter where we are in life, there will be times of grief and sadness. During these times it is very normal to feel stuck and alone. The next time you notice this is where you seem to be, I encourage you to examine your attitude. See if you are taking advantage of the choices you have and choosing the best possible attitude.